My Friend

There was suppose to be one more blog prior to this one. I’ve decided it best not to post it anymore. Or maybe I will. In the near future, who knows. I won’t be leaving this one entirely. A long time ago, I learned that no good can come from leaving people hanging.

Let it be known that the only reason I’m putting this blog out is because of the one person who has been a great help to me on every high and every low. Next to Jesus, he was always there every step of the way and for that, I am eternally grateful. I put this out here because he’s the only one who can understand why and what’s going to happen next. Or maybe there’s another person – the person I dream of having coffee, breakfast and great Bible conversations with. He probably won’t approve of this.

My friend, you know who you are. My dear friend, I’m afraid the time has finally come for me. I take my hat off. Let this be my final bow. Words are never enough to thank you for everything you did for me. I will bump into you one day with your lovely wife – please let her know that I truly adore her and your lovely kids (have some more) – and I will be sure to call your name.

This show is over. It took me a while to accept it but at least now I finally have. God knows and you do how hard I fought for this but there’s just this unquestionable beauty in surrender. When everyone else has left me buried in the mud, you’ve always been there to help me direct my eyes above and see that I can always pick myself up. This is overly dramatic and it makes me smile a bit that I’m in this tone right now but I am.

The world is a better place because I met you.

I’m to ready fight my next battles. We just keep fighting, right? Fight the good fight.

I won’t be totally off the grid. As they say, life goes on. The beauty that I can step into something new and try to undo all the wrong I did, thrills me. I’m thankful for the opportunity to start again.

The best thing about starting all over again, I can revisit your words. I’ve bookmarked them all. So that means, you can still guide me through. I won’t be seeing if you’ll respond to this still and you don’t really have to.

To those who helped and prayed for me, you know all of them better than I do, thank them for me, please. Give them tight hugs for me. You, all, will always be in my prayers.

Take care!

Advertisements

Little and Grand

My birthday’s coming up real soon. I’m like a child extremely excited about it. Well, I’ve not celebrated it for the longest time. I mean, my mom would always make sure we celebrate it. My brother and I share the same birthday. We’re eleven years apart. Every time, she prepares for it, I don’t really invite people to celebrate with me. At work, only my closest friends know about it. Normally, 3-5 people would greet me. I don’t have my birthday on Facebook. And my wall is private. But every birthday, I’d make it public for my friends to greet me.

They’re normally very few people. But I love that every time I see their posts, I’m reminded of the kind of relationship I have wih each and every one of them. It warms my heart. And that is enough for me. I could never thank God enough for the kind of people He’s brought into my life. More than all the greetings, I’m excited about the people who gives the greetings. Especially, the ones I’ve lost contact with or I’ve not heard from the longest time, when they remember your special day, you really get to treasure every single word from them. When that happens, I feel like I’m the richest person on the planet.

I love remembering all the random moments with each and every one of them. The laughters and smiles we shared together. The tears. I’m such a cry baby so definitely, lots of tears. Hehe.. The sharing of life stories. The difficult times at work, home, church. All the love stories. My favorite moments were those moments when I would share who Jesus is in my life and then when I ask them if they wanted to have Him in their lives, they’d say yes! That’s the most unforgettable part. And most important, at least, for me. If I’m going to be remembered someday, I’d like that to be my legacy. I want to be remembered as ‘the beautiful woman who brought people closer to God.’ Hahaha! Kailangan may ‘beautiful’ talaga.

Anyway, this year is extra special because I’ve decided to celebrate it with my family and a few of my closest friends. And my cousins. It’s not going to be a big celebration. But to be really honest, I thought this was my last birthday as a single so I wanted to be extra grateful. I thought wrong. Hehe.. But we’ll never know. God is so full of surprises, He might just be preparing one for me. Hehe.. Naks! Faith ang labanan! Hahaha!

 

It was never my life goal. To be married and spend the rest of my life with a man. I’m a little worried about the trouble I’d have to go through living my life with a stranger. But then in 2012, things changed. And now, I’ve changed. Not sure which part of me exactly but something in me, changed. I seriously think it was God’s plan all along. So, I wait for Him. They say it’s all about timing. And since God appoints the time and seasons, I’m waiting patiently. I surrender to His time. And I’m very excited.

Sorry about this post. I imagine this one isn’t really much of a help to anyone. This is just me declaring how grateful I am for all the little and grand things God’s been doing in my life. And how excited I am to spend my special day to just glorify Him infront of my family and closest friends. It’s going to be amazing.