Dreams (Chapter 1, continued)

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Ten years later.

He was walking alone on a dusty path that does not seem to end. It seemed that he’s been walking that road for countless years now. And then one day, he heard a voice.

“You’ve been walking this road for some time. You must be exhausted.” said the haunting voice.

He replied while looking around him, “That’s true, I’ve been walking down this road for a long time now but I’m not exhausted. Not at all. Who are you? Show yourself.”

Suddenly, a big wolf jumped out of the bushes.

What he didn’t know was the big wolf has been following him all this time, waiting for the perfect time to devour him.

“Are you ready to lose your life?” asked the big wolf with its mouth watering at the sight of its helpless food.

“No, please! Don’t eat me!” He cried.

“Wrong answer, little one.” And with that, the big wolf jumped onto him and devoured him starting with his head.

He woke up screaming, trembling.

“Danny, it’s just a dream! It’s not real. It’s not real.” Jimmy tried to calm him down. “You’re dreaming.”

“Jimmy! It seemed so real! The wolf! The wolf ate my head! It was following me! Following me down the long dusty road! Oh my God!” He explained yelling in panic.

“It’s alright, Danny. It was just a dream. It’s not real.” Jimmy assured him.

“But it seemed so real! When its teeth took my neck, the sound of my bones breaking is still ringing in my ear. I can still feel the pain of its bite.” Danny reasoned out and then he started to cry.

He would have the same dream almost night after night. And he would cry and tremble just as he did the first time he had the dream.

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“Jimmy, in school today, I learned that wolves are vicious animals. But the teacher said they hunt in packs.” Danny started.

“That’s right, Danny.” Jimmy confirmed his statement.

“So how come there was only one wolf who kept following me in my dreams? And why does he keep asking me that question?” Danny enquired.

“It’s hard to tell, Danny. It was just a dream. What’s weird is that you have this recurring dream.” Jimmy responded.

*****************

Ten more years later.

“You’ve been walking this road for some time now. You must be exhausted.” A voice said.

All of a sudden a big wolf jumped out of the bushes.

“Are you ready to lose your life?” Asked the big hungry wolf.

Suddenly, he thought about changing his answer. So he yelled, “No! I’m not ready to lose my life. Please don’t eat me!”

“Wrong answer, boy!” responded the wolf and devoured him again.

He woke up from the dream. It wasn’t as scary as he used to have it. But it’s been years now since he had that dream. 

From this day on, he would have the same different version of the dream night after night.

They say that dreams are either the thing we are scared the most or the thing we most long for.

In ancient times, they said that dreams are a telling of things to come. A guide. To help you navigate through life.

(To be continued…)

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My Heart

 It’s a story sought, found, let go, fought for and lost. Or so it would seem. It’s a good story.

I have been getting a lot of concerned faces, frowns, head shaking, blunt words of worry and disapproval with the decision  I made recently. Words like, ‘You don’t deserve him.’ ‘You shouldn’t do something like that.’ ‘You’re the woman. He’s the man.’ ‘It’s not worth it.’ ‘Let it go.’ ‘The Lord has someone better for you.’ ‘God loves you very much He wouldn’t want you to be with a man like that.’ ‘He’s hopeless.’

I think it’s about time the truth be told.

All my life, I never fought for the man I love. Never. When I was younger, I didn’t think it would be an issue. I had no plans of getting married and for some reason, I never really felt so strongly about someone. That’s the truth. The tragic truth.

Now, I’m getting older, I’m beginning to realise the reality of what God has planned for me. I didn’t want to admit it at first but He can be very persuasive in a way only He can do. I’m in love. I now know exactly what it means. And I’m thankful to God for the opportunity to really feel and understand it.

When I look at my love life, and I try to look ahead in the future, I want my kids – if I decide to have some next year, Ha! – to know that at least, once in my life, I fought for the man I love. I’m looking forward to sharing the story with them. Probably, when they’re old enough to understand what true love is.

 I did mention standing at a crossroad in my life in my previous blog. Two weeks ago, I thought I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I thought I knew exactly what I needed to do. I was going to get him back. I had a plan.

I’ve been trying to win him back through beautiful words, because that’s how he caught my ‘walled’ heart. They all say love is a two-way street. I wanted to return the favor. Of course, I didn’t mind. Then Saturday came, there’s this event he organised. I brought a friend with me as a back-up plan. I thought about it all. I prayed to God for it to work. I was on a bubble. It didn’t work.

See, the reality is, I made myself believe that I was in love with a man who was in love with me. You’d wonder how a sensible woman like me can get so pathetic. But still, I was hoping against all odds that what I made myself believe was true. Now, I know how love can drive you nuts! Thank you very much. I tried to strike up a conversation with him and with a disgusted tone, he asked who I was. He didn’t even know my name. Shocker. And the tone, my goodness. Disheartened, as we all may very well imagine, I decided to stick to my plan. My friend, who knew nothing about us, would like to speak with him. So I made sure she spoke with him. Thinking that would give him a clue that I wanted to talk to him. But the guy didn’t seem to have a clue about what I was trying to do. Talk about being irresistible, Angel.

Did you think I gave up? I pressed on. I thought, ‘He’s just being stupid. That’s fine.’ But there’s no denying the reality I’m faced with. No. He’s with the girl he cares about. I am no where in the picture of his life. He probably didn’t even know I existed. Again, shocker. If I tell you everything about our story, it would take me days writing about it. So I ask you to just read on and try as much as you can to understand where I’m coming from.

As days went by, I tried to observe, as was my way. And pray. Thankfully, and evidently, God knew what was happening to me and understood how crazy I’m becoming. So He made sure His plans for my life were fulfilled. And that is why I am just so very thankful to God for His grace and mercy.

At this crossroad, one road leads to a man I loved but didn’t know who I was, apparently. And the other side, a man confidently standing at the far end of the road. He was my best friend. Maybe he asked me to marry him some years ago. Maybe he’s just waiting for me to be ready. Maybe he’s been praying for me ever since. Maybe he’s just been observing me. Maybe he’s my ‘knight in shining armour.’ How is it that we endeavor to do everything wrong, when all that’s needed is to do them right? I’m thinking about everything God wanted me to learn in this experience. I’m thinking about the prophets in the Bible who allowed God to tell them who to marry, who to love, what to do for them, because God was going to use that experience for the glory of His name.

There’s a season for everything in this world. God ordained it. There is joy unspeakable in obedience from here to eternity. I’m standing at this crossroad. Praying. Will you, guys, pray for me too? I’m putting my trust in the only one Man who has never let me down. I’m waiting patiently to hear His words clearly and asking Him to rid me of myself because I want what He wants. If I were to choose, I’d take another road. Hahaha!

But this is going to be the story of my life. The decision I make today will shape my future. This is going to be a story of a life of a woman who loved God so much, she would do anything to make sure God is magnified and glorified. The decision I make today will be based on the Word of my Father because I know He has shaped my future according to His will. Stories. Time. Decisions. These are the things life is made of. You want to get them right. You want to make them right. Not for anything but for His praise and glory.

It was a love sought, found, let go, fought for and lost. It was a good story. Or so it would seem.