When you understand in your heart that there’s nothing else in all the world that can make your heart beat so fast, and that you can never have enough of it, then you know you’ve had too much caffeine and you’re hopelessly addicted to it.
There’s this story I’ve been working on since I was seventeen years old. I never really got around to it. But then lately, my life has become even more interesting that even I greatly appreciate how things are turning out. Thank God for that!
Here’s a teaser for you. It makes me wonder though, because I’m not really a writer – I’m not even any good – if I’ll ever get around to finishing the story. Anyway…
“What do you want from me?” He finally asked with tears running down his cheeks, and in complete surrender.
In a seductive tone she answered him, “Every thread of thought, every look you make, every smile you give, every breath you take, every bit of your soul, I want it. I want it all.”
And the witch turned her back on him then continued, “There’s nothing you can do now. Your soul in exchange for what you want.”
Every year ever since I started working, I would spend Christmas Day at home on my own. We would celebrate the Christmas eve together but the whole day of Christmas is scheduled for my siblings to visit my step dad’s family.
It’s my favorite day. We pray before they leave the house. And I get busy with my schedule for the day:
- cleaning the house
- bottle of wine
- romantic comedies: A Good Year, Becoming Jane, Love Actually
- Pride and Prejudice &/or Jane Eyre
- cooking for myself
Yes, I’m the most boring individual you’ll ever meet.
And then I wait for my family to arrive, and then we’d talk about their trip and laugh about anything we can think of. Usually, that’s me saying and doing crazy things. Hahaha! Well, my brother and I are really the two people who can say the craziest things.
Wine is the most crucial part of the day. Hahaha! Don’t get me wrong. We’re not in the habit of getting drunk. We know how to enjoy our drink.
I love cloudy days, gloomy weather and especially when it’s raining. Before Yolanda, Super Typhoon Haiyan, devastated the Philippines in 2013, it was just okay to say out loud in social media how much I love the rain or the cloudy days. After that experience though, it was kind of hard to put it out there. Not for anything, but because I remember what happened to my countrymen.
But Maria Popova’s blog, which I absolutely love talked about the benefits of cloudy days. And I couldn’t be happier about it. You can read it here.
She said there that cloudy days allow us to reflect more. Get into deeper understanding of ourselves. Sunshine makes us happy therefore it leaves us less likely to contemplate and think things through because the weather influences us to focus more on the happy feelings it gives. Of course, we can all agree, that’s not all bad. But just like how suffering keeps us on our toes so do cloudy days. There really is “a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT)
These are three things that, in a way, filled my year. Coffee has been my constant companion this year. I can’t tell you how much joy I’ve felt with every cup of coffee I’ve had. Just last night, Ivy, one of my favorite baristas in Caffe Pascucci, the coffee shop I’ve come to love, made my drink extra special.
This year has been bitter and sweet. Just like wine. It had lots of sweet moments. Moments I never thought I’d encounter. They were rare, one of a kind moments. Something God made extra special for me. Some of them bitter. But the kind of bitter taste only wine can give. They were painful moments but in turn I learned. Unbelievable experiences but God’s peace accompanied them. Times like that you know, everything is in His hands. And because I learned, I couldn’t be more grateful to the Father for every single day of this year.
There were lots of cloudy days too, literally and metaphorically speaking. Lots of times I had to repent for everything I did that didn’t bring joy to the Father. I had to carefully retrace my steps and ask for forgiveness even to sins I can’t remember anymore. I asked God over and over again to reveal these seemingly unknown sins to me. I’ve asked Jesus to reveal the true condition of my heart. These times, God made sure I relearned humility. But I’ve always been a lover of clouds – Thank God I have my six year old tweets to prove that – so when I read Maria Popova’s blog, I was greatly satisfied and thanked God over and over again for the revelations.
Goodbye heartaches of yesterday! Hello to a kilig-filled new year! Hahaha! (Parang bata lang.) I’m sooooo excited! I know – and I strongly believe it in my heart – that in 2015, I’m having coffee, drinking wine and enjoying cloudy days with the man I love. In Jesus’ name. Woohoo!
Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
~ Psalm 36:5