My Message

I look outside my terrace door and see the commanding calm of colors. A dancing blue. A contemplating yellow. A peeking red. In less than five minutes they’re gone. A blackish blue suddenly appeared. I don’t know how it came about or where it came from given all the other colors mentioned.

A silver lining.

And then I feel the wind. A cool wind. The kind of cool that works in my whole body. I can feel it strengthening every joint, calming every nerve, relaxing every fiber of my body. I see a twinkle. Or maybe two. As I move my gaze to the right, I see that there are more. They are shining like they never did before. Weird, I thought. I said the same thing before. But they are really different tonight. Is it just me or my mind playing tricks on me? 

I hear the trees. And the leaves. They seem to be talking to each other. I wonder what they’re talking about. Are they talking about climate change? Do they feel it too? Do they talk about love? I wonder if they ever feel heartache? Or loneliness? Or sadness? What would make them sad? We don’t have squirrels in these parts. 

And then quietness.

I hear my mom talking on the phone. There’s a cat that called something or someone, I’m not sure. I heard a young boy laughing. And then another one laughed louder. They were talking about computers or something. 

You ever stop to wonder why others struggle to be everything they were told they should be? Should is a strong word. Should is a dangerous word. You should know that by now. Don’t let me fool you. Be. 

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Tragedy and Success

What is tragedy?

For me, it is knowing that God made you for a special purpose but failing to really understand that. That after all the yelling out loud God is doing through the people around you and the circumstances that surrounds you, you just deliberately ignore God’s voice. You do whatever you feel like doing. Even if you know it’s not the right thing to do.

As a young worship leader, it was one of my biggest fears: to NOT become the person/woman He so intricately, carefully, beautifully designed me to be. I just cannot afford NOT to be what He so wants me to be. Even now, with and in all things I’m faced with I want to make sure, and I ask God’s help all the time because I am still a work in progress, that I present myself as the woman God created me to be. It’s not always easy. But because Jesus is with me, I can smile, be joyful in all things because He carries my burdens.

What is success? 

I am not the most successful person on earth financially speaking. In my family, we help each other in everything. By God’s grace, we lack nothing. God provides for all that we need. We’re not materialistic people too. So when other people come to us with their ‘new’ gadets, we show off our ‘durable’ phones and give them a wink and a smile. I’ve personally taught my siblings that at the end of the day, these things are just distractions from things that really matter. Like, chatting endlessly while we enjoy our fresh fruit shakes. Or eat our mom’s meryenda for us. Laughing out loud while watching Ironman movies, or Die Hard movies, or Real Steel or Warrior, or LOTR movies for the nth time because we say the exact lines on the film. Quality time. Encouraging each other in the faith. Talking about the wrong things other people did to us and correcting each other for any wrongs we’ve done. It’s best to hear it from us than from other people.

I had to ask God time and time again what success means to Him. I got a very simple reply: It is doing  the will of my Father with all my heart, mind, body, soul and strength.