Maybe This Time


I’m stuck at home because I was sick with high fever. Back when I was a little girl, when you get sick, you take a sponge bath, drink a paracetamol every after four hours and then you should be good the next day. Today, you get sick and you have to be observed for at least a couple of days for dengue and what have you before you’re declared okay. Our ever changing world! Our ever changing lives!

But the past couple of days have been devoted to singing, writing, reading, watching Real Steel. Hahaha! I really love that film. That’s during the day. At night, I love the fact that I get to sit at my terrace, play with the moon and the stars. It felt like forever ago the last time I was here.

I love that it’s a starry, starry night for the past couple of nights. I truly enjoy looking up the sky and at night, stargaze. I’m thankful for these things. They’re so priceless.

There was a time when I thought things have been changed. When I thought that these things I loved were changed for good. At first, it was nice. Then it got bad. And worse. And then still, that dreaded worst. Hahaha! Today, I look up the starry night sky differently. It was an errand. God gave me an errand.

When I think about the things that had happened and how God made everything beautiful in His time, I’m truly humbled. I have confirmation from God’s words and the Holy Spirit confirms it — I’ve done what I needed to do. Sometimes, I think about why things didn’t end as dramatic as I thought they would. There was no need for an answer but of course, I’m incredibly grateful.

I suddenly realised it is true what they all say. When God establishes something, no one can tear it down. And that as humans, we are so prone to doing things our way. God looks at us and says, ‘What end? That was just a preliminary.’

Oh! You maybe wondering why the title. Well, I’ve got the song playing as I type this. Hehe.. And you know, maybe this time after all the stargazing and playful weirdness with the moon and the night sky, love will no longer end.

Somehow… Some things never change.

I’m waiting expectantly for that magic moment. Hahaha!

Where shall my wondering soul begin?
How shall I all to heaven aspire?
A slave redeemed from death and sin,
A brand plucked from eternal fire,
How shall I equal triumphs raise,
And sing my great Deliverer’s praise!

Charles Wesley