Love Advices

ImageNot many of my new friends know that I was a love guru. Hahaha!

Well, I headed the Youth Music Ministry of my previous church for more than five years. During that time, I can’t tell you how many love advices I’ve given to young people. I was a teenager when I was prayed for and asked to take over the post. 

But God is gracious. He made sure I had great trainers. And they were not just one or two people. There were lots of them. Many of them, I don’t even recall the names anymore. Some of them, I met for a brief moment in time but their impact in life was just quite significant. They certainly proved to me the adage that wisdom can be found in the most unlikely places. 

Now, love advices.

The first time I was prayed over as a worship leader, people prayed for that “special man” God had prepared for me. I was fifteen then. I found it weird that people prayed that kind of prayer for me when I was so young and was very decided I am never going to get married. What did I know? These were the pastors and ushers, usherettes at church. Old people. But now of course, I finally understand why they did that. It’s of great importance. It would be of great help for me. Thank God for their lives!

Was talking to a young lady this week about the issue she was having. It was about her lovelife. Of course, she will remain anonymous. But let me tell you her story.

She’s a daughter of a Pastor. She’s 23 years old. She’s very beautiful. A body of a supermodel, humble, tall and an Einsteinette. You get the picture. She heads the youth arm of the church, loves Jesus and is obedient to her parents.

And then at church also, she meets someone.

He is 5’4″ tall, chubby, dark, has a contorted face but he is also a young man deeply in love wih Jesus Christ and completely devoted to his family. You get the picture. Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit. Not really contorted. Just full of I don’t know what to call it. And the teeth, I have no words to describe them. So that’s me being truly fair & kind with my description. 

And you’ve guessed it right, they fell in love. 

Naturally, the girl’s parents didn’t approve. But the sad part is, it’s all because of his physical appearance. They couldn’t stand to see the guy near their beautiful daughter. They were torn apart. The guy was asked to find another church to go to. You can imagine how cruel people can be. And this is the 21st centuy, for crying out loud! Anyway, I’ve asked forgiveness from God for them. Seriously. 

The young lady then asked for my advice. Should she give him up? Or should she fight for him? 

My advice: Have you asked God these questions you’ve been asking me? Because His words are way better than mine. Did you both seek His will whether or not to be together? For us, Christians, it’s not a matter of fighting for someone. It’s a matter of fighting for the will of God. And what is His will? The Bible tells us all about it. It gives a great deal of detail of a partner He wants for us to choose. You know why He has put them in writing? It’s because He will not choose for us. But He gives us an idea of what a good partner is. And He hopes we will desire that kind of partner. 

Have you found those scriptures in the Bible yet? If you haven’t, I suggest since you’re asking for my opinion, find those Words of the Holy scriptures, continue to pray for each other and ask for God’s approval. Seek God’s will together in prayer. Of course, factors such as getting to know the person is important.  And other common things about relationships (Christian ways: state his intentions to pray for you, meet your family, etc.) and what you desire for a partner is taken into consideration by God. So you pray for each other. Because if you notice in the book of Song of songs, it won’t tell you that you’re partner should be tall, dark & handsome. Or that the lady should be as white as snow. In fact, the lady there complains about her color but the ‘young man’ didn’t mind. There’s no physical standard. That would be our choice. 

Sometimes, there are very clear indicators already. We just don’t recognise God’s seal of approval because we choose to listen to our own words instead of His. I mean, You both love the Lord, you both love and respet your families. You boh serve the Lord wholeheartedly, what’s your question again? 

If there’s one oher important thing we should be asking God, in my opinion, it’s this: Is this Your perfect time, Lord? 

He’s still finishing up school. She just graduated. Is he committed to praying for you alone or is he still considering other girls? Are you ready to spend time in prayer for this one man or are you still looking to find a better looking guy? If it’s him you want to marry, can he provide for you and the family while still finishing up school? If you’re going to be married already, are you ready to stay at home and care for the family? Or are you still desiring to have your own career? Is this the perfect time? 

For us, believers of God, it’s not about hoppin’ around, clowning around, sleeping around to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. You prepare yourself for marriage because it is His beautiful will for us to NOT be alone. 

In conclusion, these things that God puts us through, the man or woman we fall in love with, that He brings in our lives, I think and this is my very humble opinion because I’m no expert, in fact, I still have a lot of things to learn, He brings them – he or she – in our lives because He knows what we need. And He makes sure we get what we need. But He needed to check and recheck our hearts by asking us these two questions: Do you desire to follow My will, my son, my daughter? Do you desire to wait for My perfect time?

Tragedy and Success

What is tragedy?

For me, it is knowing that God made you for a special purpose but failing to really understand that. That after all the yelling out loud God is doing through the people around you and the circumstances that surrounds you, you just deliberately ignore God’s voice. You do whatever you feel like doing. Even if you know it’s not the right thing to do.

As a young worship leader, it was one of my biggest fears: to NOT become the person/woman He so intricately, carefully, beautifully designed me to be. I just cannot afford NOT to be what He so wants me to be. Even now, with and in all things I’m faced with I want to make sure, and I ask God’s help all the time because I am still a work in progress, that I present myself as the woman God created me to be. It’s not always easy. But because Jesus is with me, I can smile, be joyful in all things because He carries my burdens.

What is success? 

I am not the most successful person on earth financially speaking. In my family, we help each other in everything. By God’s grace, we lack nothing. God provides for all that we need. We’re not materialistic people too. So when other people come to us with their ‘new’ gadets, we show off our ‘durable’ phones and give them a wink and a smile. I’ve personally taught my siblings that at the end of the day, these things are just distractions from things that really matter. Like, chatting endlessly while we enjoy our fresh fruit shakes. Or eat our mom’s meryenda for us. Laughing out loud while watching Ironman movies, or Die Hard movies, or Real Steel or Warrior, or LOTR movies for the nth time because we say the exact lines on the film. Quality time. Encouraging each other in the faith. Talking about the wrong things other people did to us and correcting each other for any wrongs we’ve done. It’s best to hear it from us than from other people.

I had to ask God time and time again what success means to Him. I got a very simple reply: It is doing  the will of my Father with all my heart, mind, body, soul and strength.